How To Gain Self Esteem And Love Yourself

Most girls these days want to look like those Instagram models who had boob jobs done, had lip fillers and have fake a**. Even though I don’t have a problem with any of those adjustment done on anybody, I have a problem when it comes to other people feeling less confident and hating themselves based on how other people look.

Loving yourself is the most rewarding thing in the world. When you have low self-esteem, nothing you ever do seems valuable or good enough. Insecurities about you looks will only cause you to be insecure in other aspects of your life.

For the longest time I had the lowest self esteem. A lot of things contributed to me feeling that way about my self and I was doing nothing to eliminate those things in my life. I was very young back then and cared too much about what people thought and that ruined me.

Below are things that made me insecure. Once I got rid of the following, my life was a lot more enjoyable. I loved what I saw in the mirror for once in my life and I was confident in my abilities in a lot of things in my life.

Bad Friends

There are friends who will call you names for no reason. They will tease you and because they are your friends you think it is okay: it is not. If it hurts your feelings then there is nothing right about it. Even if it stings a little bit, that is a shot at your confidence and next thing you know you hate that part of your body or yourself and there is nothing funny about that.

There are certain relationships where you can call a friend a b*tch and it won’t hurt but if someone calls you this when you guys don’t have that kind of relationship with them, put a stop to it. There is a line that shouldn’t be crossed when it comes to this though.

When people start teasing your body then you shouldn’t be encouraging such actions. Tell those people that what they are doing is hurting your feelings and they should stop. If they are your real friends they will listen.

It will be hard especially when you are scared of them but voicing your opinion is the most liberating thing when you have been quiet for a long time. It won’t be easy but once you do it, you will love yourself for it.

Sometimes it’s best to just distance yourself to such negative energy. Surround yourself with people who bring positive vibes. I will repeat that this is the hardest thing to do especially if you have been spending a lot of time with them but nothing worth having comes easy. They will most probably talk about you and it won’t be nice, but for the sake of your confidence, just do it.

Social Media

This took a shot at my confidence so fast. The problem with me is that I followed the wrong accounts which led to me hating my body. Following fitness accounts, thinspiration or any of those kinds of accounts made me feel so bad. I thought that this was how I was supposed to look.

Another one of these are the beauty and fashion accounts and although I have no problem with them, if you have low self-confidence then it is not wise to be looking at such things because some of these people have had body adjustments that you don’t know about and striving to achieve such a body naturally will only make you feel like crap.

I would say you should work on loving yourself before becoming obsessed with fashion and working out because if you do while hating yourself, nothing good is going to come out of that experience.

My Skin

For the longest time, even today I still struggle with acne and this played a major role in me losing my confidence. when people would come at me, it would always be about how I have pimples and pimple scars that never go away and that just made everything a whole lot harder.

I remember the first time I made money online I decided it was time I deal with my acne and bought the Acne.org products (they never got to South Africa, got a refund) but that was how determined I was about making my skin the best it could be. I was literally suffering because people really don’t have a problem letting you know that your acne disgusts them when there is literally nothing you could do about it.

Even though I still hate my face on some days, having confidence really helped because now I don’t stay in the house simply because my face is full of pimples. It may not be the most comfortable experience but once you stop thinking so much about what is wrong about you and focus on the good things, nothing will bother you anymore.

The trick here is to not think about it and how many people are looking at you.


Being confident is simply not caring about what people think about you. There is quote that says “What other people think about you is none of your business”.That is the one thing you should always have in mind. You should just fake it till you make it because it won’t happen overnight, you won’t wake up one day and start feeling yourself. It’s a long journey but you will get there.

What are your tips on gaining self-confidence?

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